Moms Zone

Sometimes I when I’m out and about I will see the same scenario unfolding again and again. I take it as a clue that it might be a good article.

This week I saw parents warning until they were blue in the face and the children still didn’t listen. Has that ever happened to you?

If so, you’re not alone. Let me ask you this.

Is it possible that your children perceive the repetitions to “stop it” as individual warnings, not instructions to stop?

Every household is different so that means that no one scenario will represent exactly what’s going on in your house, but see if this is close. 

A child does something and Dad says, “Stop it!” Then Dad goes back to reading the newspaper. The child doesn’t stop it.
Mom chimes in and says, “Stop it now!” Then Mom goes back to making breakfast. The child still doesn’t stop it.
The parents continue saying, “stop it!” two or three more times, adding in a dash of “I mean it!” and “I’m not kidding!” And still, the child isn’t stopping.
Then one parent uses the child’s full name, “Anthony James!” He seems to perk up, but does it one more time.
He only stops when he hears… “Stop. It. Right. This. Minute. Anthony. James. Or. Else!”
Sound familiar?

All parents have a unique way of expressing, “I’m at the end of my rope.” Your child has observed you and your behavior long enough to see things you may not see in yourself.

In our scenario, the child knows that there will be several requests to “Stop it.” He knows Mom comes close to being at the end of her rope when she calls out his full name. He knows he has to listen when she uses his full name and adds, “Stop it right this minute.” Essentially he’s waiting for mom to do what she’s always done, pull out the “big change” before he listens.

The “change” is different for every family. In your family it could be that you use your child’s full name or raise your voice, or yell. The “change” could be that you enter the room with an angry look on your face. Or it might be the threat of loosing TV, computer or getting a timeout. No matter what “the change” is in your house, your child has been trained by you to wait for “the change” before he feels he has to listen.

Children look at your repeated requests to “stop it” far differently than you do. They think of them as single, random comments 1-5. Parents, on the other hand consider the repeated “stop it” as an extension of one single thought.

What can be done? What if you moved your action point to the beginning of the situation instead of keeping it at the end?

Most parents tend not to take action until they’ve hit the end of their rope. You want your children to listen to you the first time, but you’ve taught them that they don’t have to listen until the end.

The way to teach a child to listen, the first time we say something, is to show them, repeatedly, that we take action the minute they don’t listen. I. Do. Not. Wait.

It’s true we’ll have to stop what we’re doing, get up and take action, but it won’t be forever.

Changing the timing of your action will have profound affect on your child and will most likely change things almost immediately. Your firmness will stand out because it’s not clouded by yelling. Changing the timing of your action is a far better way to increase listening. It also allows you to remain calm, and is how you go from reacting to responding.

Sharon Silver is a parenting educator and the founder of Proactive Parenting. She’s also the author of Stop Reacting and Start Responding: 108 Ways to Discipline Consciously and Become the Parent You Want to Be.

Theater Works’ Summer Camps Prepare Young Thespians for Performances, Auditions and the Upcoming Season

Theater Works is proud to present a summer camp experience like no other! Unprecedented demand for Theater Works Youth programming in our one of a kind – state of the art performing arts venue is causing us to expand our Youth Programming. If young actors want to experience a top notch summer theater camp in a facility that was built for actors and audiences, then these are the camps for them.  Scholarships are available for deserving youth in the West Valley.  Camps are available for children ages 3 – 18.  Choose from a summer camp series that offers a full-scale musical production, a comedy slapstick play and 3 one-week workshops designed to get down and dirty. 

The first camp begins on May 23, 2011 with the Brave Little Tailor.  The Brave Little Tailor is based on the classic Grimm’s fairytale.  Although people may not be familiar with it everyone will remember the classic Disney cartoon which may be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4saIC96vJRI.  The Broadway camp is also a great intro to help with the musical Jungle Book for those campers afraid of being in a musical.  The Techie Camps will be great for those interested in working on Youth and Main stage back stage crews next year.  The Academy Camp has many components including Puppetry which will be a great help for those wanting to be in Saving Santa, Shakespeare and Dialect Components which will be helpful for auditions for Romeo and Juliet, Voice components which will be useful in auditions for King and I for little ones and Hairspray for the older students.  In addition, the Academy Camp will have juggling, physical comedy and miming components which will be helpful for auditions for Hunchback and Alice in Wonderland.
Speaking of down and dirty, prices have been restructured to be more family-friendly and we now offer a variety of dates that are sure to meet the needs of even our busiest vacationers. Break-out workshops will place kids with their peers for more age- appropriate training. Professional artists will guide the way in this non-competitive, safe environment. Campers can design their own summer program based on what they love about theater.
Registration forms are now online at www.theaterworks.org and at the Peoria Center for the Performing Arts.  To reserve your spot today please call the Box Office at 623.815.7930.  The Box Office is open from 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. daily.  For more information on the exciting summer camps Theater Works is offering please contact Chris Hamby at 623.85.1791 ext. 108.  Theater Works is located in the Peoria Center for the Performing Arts (the theater with the copper roof) at 8355 W Peoria Avenue, Peoria.

Goodyear Teen Returns to Sports after Knee Dislocation,
Awarded PCH Sports Medicine Comeback Student Athlete of the Week

PHOENIX, Ariz. Morgan Brown of Goodyear has been selected as the PCH Sports Medicine Comeback Student Athlete of the Week. Brown is also eligible for the PCH Sports Medicine Comeback Student Athlete of the Year and Fan Fave Comeback Student Athlete of the Year awards, which will be handed out at a banquet in May 2011. The awards honor outstanding young athletes who have returned to athletic competition after receiving treatment for an injury, illness, or physical limitation.

Winners of the two end-of-year awards – the PCH Sports Medicine Comeback Student Athlete of the Year and the Fan Fave Comeback Student Athlete of the Year – will receive $2,500 and $2,000 respectively in scholarship money. The winners’ athletics program will also be given a cash grant of $1,000.

Brown, 14, is a freshman at Estrella Foothills High School and has been playing softball competitively since she was 5 years old in tee ball, softball and then club softball. Currently, Brown is a starting pitcher and first base player for the Estrella Foothills team. Brown also plays for the Sugar and Spikes club softball as well as the Southwest Valley Girls Softball “Angels.”

In July 2009, Brown was warming up to pitch a game in a national qualifier tournament when her kneecap dislocated, causing two pieces of bone to break off of her femur. Brown was in tremendous pain and although she had no idea what had happened, she knew it was serious. 

Brown underwent orthopedic surgery to remove the bone fragments under the care of PCH Sports Medicine’s Adolescent/Pediatric Orthopaedic Surgeon, Dr. Jeffrey Vaughn. The injury she suffered is not a common injury that happens to athletes, and finding an experienced doctor and physical therapist like Dr. Vaughn was vital. Following the surgery, Brown would stay on the sidelines for the next three months to recover while completing intensive physical therapy.

“I have realized that I have to work hard to achieve my goals,” said Brown. “It’s not always easy and you need a good support system.”

Today, Brown has returned to the dominating force she was before the injury. While recovering from her knee injury, she pitched for a 19-game youth fast pitch league, striking out 49 batters, only allowing 8 runs, establishing an ERA of 1.09, and setting a batting average of .400. In the championship game, Brown even pitched a shut-out, locking in a winning game at 12-0.

Brown is not only a talented multi-sport athlete in softball, volleyball and basketball, she celebrates many academic achievements as well, including membership with the National Junior Honor Society, Freshman Honor Roll, and was named Freshman Class Student of the Month.